Thursday, February 01, 2007

Love VS. Crush

I think the difference between a crush and an infatuation is only in degree and neither of them is even close to the meaning of real love. I perceive a crush to be something rather platonic. For example, your best friend's friend is a cutie and you have a crush on him, that type of thing. An infatuation is intense and often times, short lived. In infatuation, people tend to idealize the other person and fail to see their shortcomings. They emphasize the positive attributes in the other person and this adds to the intensity of their infatuation, which they mistakenly perceive as "real love," or more accurately described, they feel they are "in love."

Being in love is an exhilarating feeling, and it has the potential to become real love. Being in love is like the hook for the opportunity of real love to present itself. When you are in love with someone, you feel very attracted to the other person, in several different levels: physical, mental, emotional and yes, spiritual. From getting to know the person with whom you are in love, real love has the opportunity to flourish.

Real love, unlike an infatuation is realistic. Real love is a complete acceptance of the other person, and of oneself. Because if you can't love yourself, who can you love? Or who will love you? Complete acceptance does not mean that we don't find shortcomings in the other person, as that is not possible, we are humans and we are not perfect, we all make mistakes. Complete acceptance means discernment with no judgment. It means that we accept the whole package just as it is, without trying to change the other person to meet our every need.

Real love resides in knowing one another. In knowing what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are, what our potential is. In knowing these things we come to respect, and admire each other, and out of that, real love is born. "Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."